Little Traveling Dress | Mesa Arizona Family Photographer

A couple of months ago, I was trying to come up with some fun projects for myself. I saw that there are many people who are doing traveling dress projects—essentially, sisterhood of the traveling pants but dresses and for photographers. Then I thought, how about doing a traveling dress but for little sisters?! I bounced the idea of a Little Traveling Dress Project to a few friends of mine and many of them jumped on board quickly! How exciting!

On August 27th 2018, I ordered a dress and our Little Traveling Dress Project began.

One little dress, two countries, six states/provinces, eight photographers.

We all had the same dress for a week to create. We will not reveal the work we have created until everyone had a chance to finish their journey. This is where magic happens. And the whole project was finished just before Christmas.

For the past few months, we have all been anxiously waiting to see what the other people had created and today is the day! It’s our reveal party today! Please follow along and find out how creativity works magic with each individual in an amazingly different way.

I’m so excited to share my part of the journey and you will be able to link to the other 7 photographers’ work as well!

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Originally, when I started the project, knowing that I would be the last person to play with the dress, I was planning a BIG EPIC vision in my mind. I was going to have my girl wear the dress. I was going to make her all gorgeous. I was going to take her to all these epic places around the valley in Arizona.

HOWEVER, when time went by, my vision changed.

I had been digging into my soul a little bit about why I am doing all these photos. I realized that ever since I have started my business, I have felt more insecure and more inadequate than ever. I look at other people’s photos and think—I want a house like that with a big window and pure white walls so I can take better photos with better widow lights; I want to go to those epic places because dang those locations are so cool; I want to have darker dinning table so it looks better as a background when I take photos of my kids make cookies…The list goes on and on. I realized that, I ALWAYS have a vision and what I am trying to do is to create something out of my norm to fit into my vision. So instead of trying to make epic lifestyle like our normal way of living a life, I want to find the beauty in our seemingly normal life.

SO, instead of taking road trips in this pretty dress and makeups and flower crowns, we just lived a good normal life, but wearing a pretty dress.

It’s close to Christmas. My family doesn’t really have Christmas traditions as we never grow up celebrating it. But it would be nice to help my kids to get into the holiday feels. So we went to a Christmas Tree Lot. The owners there were super nice and let my kids run through the trees. They even pointed out that they have colored trees in the back.

My kids were beyond excited to just run free there.

I’ll have to say, I’ve never seen a happier face in a tree lot.

Our Church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, set up a Giving Machine in downtown Gilbert this year to make it easy for people to give in the holiday seasons. It gives you such a good warm feeling when you know that you can give because you have been given much. For my kids who are still very young, it can be challenging to find service opportunities for them so we took advantage of the giving machine and stopped by after we ran in the tree lot for a good while.

We explained to the kids that we get to give something to people and children who are in need and they get to choose what they want to give. Both of my kids took it pretty seriously and looked at the menu/list of possible items for donation for quite a while. My boy, who loves balls more than anything, decided to donate soccer balls. My girl actually decided to donate some building-block toys and also funds for after school program so other little friends can go to school like her and play with blocks too! They were literally shouting with joy when they see the items they chose was donated through the giving machine.

There is no place better than home.

I mean, seriously. This should be the case. If you are like me before drooling over other people’s home, you got change. Not saying that we should use it as an excuse to never clean dishes or vacuum your carpet just because you love your home no matter what. But seriously, this is our life now and we should love it no matter what.

Dance in the street in front of the house even on a super overcast and cold day. Walking through irrigation rivers at home and pick up flowers and dirt. Who cares if people driving by think that we are crazy. We are home and we are happy.

One of the awesome perks about living in Arizona is that we get super amazing citrus in the winter time.

And, lucky us, we LOVE citrus.

When we found out that a few of our own citrus trees have gotten sick and we are not going to have many good fruits this year of our own, we were really sad. Good news is that we have a great citrus orchard close by and every year they host citrus picking events. Just before all the oranges and grapefruits got picked this year, we went in the orchard to enjoy the view of an approaching harvest.

Of course, when there is food to look at but not allowed to pick any, all her energy goes into a goofy ball and shows up in every single photo I attempt to take.

It is Christmas season after all. With little ones at home, we tend to decorate the house a little later so all the ornaments can stay on the tree for a little bit and all the lights can stay on for a while. It took about 5 days for our tree to become bare on the bottom 2/3 and our lights on the tree to totally go out. But while it lasted, we had fun having a festive house.

When there is a little “devil” tearing everything down at home, you gotta balance it out with a little angel.

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So yeah, these are what I’ve done with the Little Traveling Dress. These are no where near what I had envisioned at first. They are not epic. They are not that artistic. They are not the ones that stir up the darkest dust in your soul and make you think.

HOWEVER, each one of these photos

MADE ME SMILE.

Yes, for that week, I was almost constantly taking photos for my girl. I was always thinking what fun stuff we could do. I gave my kids so much more attention than before. I was not on social media. I was not comparing myself with other moms. I was not comparing how my kids are with other kids.

While these photos might not mean anything to other people, they mean the world to me. These reminded me of the pure joy of being a child. These reminded me of the pure joy of being a mom. These reminded me of the joy of simply being alive and enjoying life to the fullest.

My girl’s name means Life. She is full of life. Her simple brightness is epic enough to light the world—at least my world.

Like I said, even the eight of us who had the chance to create using the same object, had different perspectives and angles. My journey with this little dress helped me to confirm my why—Life is crazy, but life is good. And I’m loving it.

I surely hope all of you can feel the joy of this little girl and be inspired to find and focus on the simple, small, seemingly insignificant joyful moments in your life AND document them! When life gets hard, which is almost every other minute especially if you have a few little munchkins in your house, look back at those small moments that bring smiles onto your face.

Hope you all had a wonderful 2018 and wish you a happy new year in 2019!

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To follow along our reveal party with our Instagram Loop starting here: @amydangerfieldphotography

To check some of the other 7 photographers’ work on their blogs starting here:

Sabrina: https://forever22photography.com/2018/12/30/the-little-traveling-dress-project

Tracy: https://www.tracydawnphotography.com/blog/

Susan: https://www.susan-rice-photography.com/blog/2018/12/29/the-little-traveling-dress

Erica: https://woodsywondersphotography.com/uncategorized/a-little-traveling-dress-project/

A Glamorized Childhood | Payson Arizona Childhood Photography| Mesa Family Photographer

There has been some big controversy in the photography world lately. This whole situation with childhood made me think really hard. 

As adults, we look back to our childhood and all kinds of memories come up-- the sweet ones and the nightmares. It's healthy to face both and to recognize both. Growth comes after pain and acknowledging pain is half of the work to success. Don't deny your past. Don't try and hide your childhood. 

With that being said though, when it's our time to teach our children, it's our responsibility as adults to choose which part of childhood to focus on. 

I always feel that there is enough sadness and negativity in this world so I would prefer to focus on the bright side. Have those bright little joyful moments be my light. To remind me that there is goodness in the world. There is hope. 

As an artist or public figure, we have the blessing to be in front of so many people each day, including so many children. We can create something to speak to people's hearts. However, with great blessing comes great responsibility. We need to choose wisely. What we create. What we focus on. What we glamorize.

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

If I ever get to glamorize childhood, I would love to glamorize the simple joy we feel as little children. That magic of being a child. Childhood needs to be celebrated instead of being rushed through. 

My kids don't usually dress up even though they may very well be the cutest kids when they do dress up. I don't want to go through the hassle of cleaning their nice outfits. I don't want them to focus on their appearance too much. I don't need to spend too much money on things that don't really matter. However, this week, I decided to have my girl in this really nice brand new outfit and went on our trip up north to Payson into the woods. Why? Just because. 

Just because I want to show that dancing in the woods is cool. Kicking dirt and jumping off a little tree trunk is fun. Finding a huge pinecone the size of your face is absolutely amazing. These are the things kids should be doing. And this is what we need to celebrate and glamorize. These are appropriate for little children. 

I may not be the most experienced photographer. I may not be someone who can stir the whole industry. However, I do hope that I can make tiny waves in little girls' hearts when they look back at the photos and think to themselves look, that was me. I was beautiful and I had fun as a kid. That, is enough to me. That, is glamorous to me. 

As always, thank you for reading. Enjoy our little girl having fun in the woods for the very first time. 

Breastfeeding Awareness Week Motherhood Session | Mesa Lifestyle Family Photographer

I found out a while ago that World Breastfeeding Week is celebrated August 1-7 each year encourage breastfeeding and improve the health of babies around the world. 

I was visiting with some of my family members the other day. My son came to me being cranky so I picked him up and nursed him while keep chatting. My mother-in-law who was sitting across the living room looked a little surprised. I nodded and said--yeah, I'm still nursing him. Then us three moms had a great conversation about our breastfeeding journeys. 

"Breastfeeding--Foundation of Life"

We hear about breastfeeding a lot. We hear that it's great for babies. We hear that it's amazing how female body works. We hear that we should encourage breastfeeding. But there's actually so much more we don't talk about. Breastfeeding means differently for each mom but ultimately, breastfeeding becomes part of the story of motherhood. The good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly. All honest and raw.

I'm Amy. I'm a breastfeeding Mom. 

When I was pregnant with my girl, we were living in China, where every mom seems to be feeding babies formula because mom needs to go back to work after the maternity leave. I remember all too well standing in front of shelves of formula in the store, feeling extremely anxious--the formula is expensive; the bottles are expensive; I don't know what kind would be the best. With my girl having a birth defect, after being scared by the recommendation of termination of the pregnancy, we were also preparing to need to save millions of dollars for her medical expenses. All these preparation for motherhood is just stressful. Luckily, I have my husband. He firmly told me--you will do fine. You will breastfeed. We will be just fine! We won't need to buy formula or bottles. Our girl will be alright. So I was determined that I'm not going to buy bottles. I'm going to breastfeed. 

Due to my girl's birth defect, she was taken to NICU right away. The nurse was really nice to let me kiss my girl before she was wrapped up and sent to a different floor. In China, parents are not allowed to be in the NICU. Technically speaking, you can go talk to the nurse about your child's situation every afternoon at 3pm. So I took a nap and started to try and pump some milk preparing for breastfeeding when my girl could come back. It's the weirdest feeling--I just had a baby but my baby was not with me but I was pumping milk. 

After 10 hours, my husband being an American, said "this is ridiculous. I am going to go get her back!" So there he went. A tall Mandarin-speaking white guy went alone to NICU and got our baby girl back magically. My baby girl was picked up by her daddy and put in my arm. She wanted to nurse right away. My baby girl nursed for the first time 10 hours after she was born. That was the longest 10 hours in my life. Holding her in my arms and feeling her little mouth connected to me made me realize that she is alive, perfectly alive. I didn't lose her. I'm sustaining her life. And I'm now a mom. 

So here began my breastfeeding journey. 

You would probably think that with such a strong motivation and connection, breastfeeding would be a piece of cake for me. Oh no. Oh no. 

With stitches, it took me at least a month before I could sit comfortably let alone holding a baby. But if I lie down and nurse, I couldn't see how she latched and I wasn't able to get a good feeding. Because she was not latched very well, she was sucking extremely hard and I was bleeding like crazy on my nipples. For the first month and half, I was feeling pain after pain after pain all over the places but I was on a new-mom high so I carried through. My mom helped us for the first 2 weeks and my husband was working at home so it was really helpful that I was able to feed the baby and then run to the farmers market without worrying about my baby and come back just in time to feed her again. 

Then, sleep deprivation kicked in. I was all a sudden SO TIRED. I was the only one who can feed the baby and my baby just wanted to be eating constantly. Of course, I didn't know that for the first while, babies grow so much and they eat so much. I just felt like I lost myself. I fed the baby, grocery shopped, fed the baby again, cooked, fed the baby again, cleaned, fed the baby again, cooked again, fed the baby again...I felt like a machine. I hated it. I just wanted my baby to sleep! And each time I was awake in the middle of the night, I wanted to wake up my husband just so he could feel how tired I was. Eventually, we worked out a good system where my husband would wear the baby wrap and wrap our girl on him and let me take a two hour nap. That saved me. Also I talked to other nursing moms and found out that we were all the same. I was not the only one who was sleep deprived. I was not the only one who's kid is nursing constantly. I was not the only one who struggles. 

Breastfeeding is amazing. Breastfeeding is sustaining my baby's life. Breastfeeding was the gentle reminder for me everyday that my baby girl is alive. However, it was hard. It can be stressful. I needed a lot of support to be able to do it! It was not a piece of cake. 

I nursed my girl till I was pregnant with my boy. My milk dried up. One day, I stopped offering. She didn't ask for it. That was the end of my first time breastfeeding. 

I've done it once. It should be easy for the second time, right?

My boy came along. I had milk come in right away. I knew how he's supposed to latch this time. I know that I need to drink plenty of water. I know that I will be sleep deprived. I'm prepared. 

Until I realize that one thing I really miss about having only one child is that I could sleep when she slept. Now, I'm still sleep deprived from my second breastfeeding baby but my oldest is almost constantly needing my attention. I can't leave her alone in the house without watching her. I can't keep up with the energy either. And sometimes what seems worse this time around is that my girl would get jealous that her baby brother gets mama all the time and she would throw a fit or she would interrupt. It's no longer a peaceful bonding time for me to nurse my baby boy. 

Also this time, I found out later that when my boy is teething, he likes to use me as his teething toy. Ouch. Or he would be distracted by his sister in the other room and try to watch while still latching. Looking at my boy's chub chub, I shouldn't worry about how much he has eaten but when he doesn't nurse well because of all the distraction, I worry. Till this day, I still feel bad if he missed his bed time nursing. 

It took me by surprise that my mother guilt is extremely strong when I have to feed my baby and I have to send my oldest girl to the living room to "just do something by yourself". She used to be the one I breastfed and holding so close to me all the time. Now all a sudden she seems to be such a grown up. 

Breastfeeding itself this time with my boy is not as hard I feel. Probably I now have more knowledge and more experience so I'm more mentally prepared. I'm glad that I could have so much support from my husband and a community of nursing moms helping me to understand that it's all so normal that it can be hard. And also, I can do it!

These struggles are all so real but not many people would tell an expecting mom that hey, breastfeeding is awesome but it's actually REALLY HARD, so prepare for it! Also, I feel that we need more willing people to help breastfeeding moms--take the older kids out for a walk so mom can take a nap; offer to hold the new baby when the baby is not nursing so mom can spend some quality time with the older siblings. 

I love breastfeeding. It's beautiful. It's literally the foundation of life. My journey continues. 

It's also hard. It's emotional. It could be something that drains the fountain of a mom's life. 

We should encourage moms to breastfeed. We also should help and build a community to really support moms who want to breastfeed but facing all these struggles I've gone through. 

We need to let new moms know that it's hard but it's worth the effort AND we are here to help! Reach out, and ask for help if needed. Let's ease each other's burden a little bit so more moms can enjoy the beauty of breastfeeding and provide the foundation of life to their babies!