"You know you can just say Thank You, right?"

I feel that I have gotten to know some really cool people lately and they are such big inspirations to me. I wanted to just go and tell each of these people how much I admire them and how much I appreciate them being an inspiration to me and just how cool of a human being they are. However, this insecure me held me back. What if they find me weird for wanting to reach out and just say thank you?! Would it be just embarrassing if they totally ignore me because they’ve heard enough praises or because the recognition from someone not so important at all like me means nothing to them at their level? Would I scare them off because they would be afraid that I’m trying to get something from them by saying all these compliments? Would they feel that I am just flattery? This list can probably go on and on.

As part of my grand attempt to understand myself, I too have been thinking about why I think like this. Am I alone in this or is this more common than I think it is?

I think this has something to do with me not being able to accept complements well too. Maybe it’s because I was taught that there is always someone better so anything that potentially makes you prideful is bad. Maybe it’s this Chinese tradition of always showing that you are humble that makes people feel like they are doing something wrong if they acknowledge their own hard-work. Woah, I just realized that as I am writing, this might even be part of the whole idea of each individual is only paying his due diligence for the big goal of the nation—don’t ever take credit for individual efforts.

Anyways. I had to learn to accept compliments. I vividly remember when I first came to the US and people would just come to me at the bus stop on campus and compliment on my shoes or ear-rings and I would blush and freeze without words in reply. Whenever someone excitedly came to me to tell me how good I was at something—that food you cooked tastes so good or that doodle you did was so cute or really literally anything—my response was always: Nah, I’m ok and I could be better.

Then Jonny totally called me out—You know you can just say Thank You, right?

I didn’t know that! How dare I just smile and say Thank You?!

Well, now, I know.

While I was still struggling with whether I should just go tell these people I don’t know well how much they inspire me, I got a message from a friend of mine telling me that I am such an inspiration to her and I am such a cool human!

Well, I don’t think I ever had anyone telling me that I am cool. (That might not be totally true since I think Jonny has told me that I am cool before, once at least. ) I’ve always tried to be cool but always ended up feeling awkward and not fitting in with any of the cool kids. I have to say that hearing someone calling me a cool person made my day. It was not coming from anyone with authority but just from this good friend I care about. It actually meant more than me ever wining any awards. I guess I might actually be kinda cool in some weird ways.

It was not an easy adjustment to feel comfortable about compliments but these days, I do find myself willingly saying Thank You more when someone complimented me. Another good thing is that, I feel more comfortable giving out my compliments too, gradually, but I’m getting there. I now definitely feel that it is possible to have this genuine desire to just say a simple Thank You for being awesome without any other string attached. The single action of showing my appreciation makes me happier myself and that would be enough. At the same time, others can also share with me these simple genuine appreciations for what I have done so why not just happily accept them and feel proud?

Thank you for saying thank you to me. Thank you for letting me say Thank You to you!